(Moveable figures of speech) .... An ELECTION song

Announcer: The leader of the Apparition, Bruce McBruce, is interviewed tonight by Josephine Kitefly.
Josephine: Mr. McBruce, do you think Australians are ready for another party?
Bruce: Look, Australians are party animals Josephine. That’s why our political system is so . . . expensive, and what this election is all about! If the Prime Minister increases the percentage on figures of speech . . . when the Governor General rattles his jewellery . . . then, and only then, the goalposts, and it’s obvious Josephine just where the goalposts should be at this time . . .
Josephine: And where’s that?
Bruce: On a flat playing field. Let me say, it’s the size of the paddock that matters here, not the Grand Final date . . . and thank God for that . . . whoever SHE is! (intro begins) At the end of the day it is transparently clear Josephine . . . absolutely clear to your viewers, abundantly clear to the community that the bottom line is a figure of speech!
Josephine: But I thought the bottom line was a tango!

1. Not tonight Josephine. Not tonight Picasso.
Not tonight Ernie Dingo. You'll all have to wait for morning.
I was sailing along. All that rattles is not jewellery.
There's something wrong with this song.
Have you noticed that the goalposts have moved?

Break in 7

2. It's a figure of speech. It's a figure of mockery.
With a figurine of marble, the Governor General can easily smash crockery.
I was figuring today, we'd pull our finger out tomorrow.
I think you're running out of breath. Have you noticed that the playing field is not flat?
Have you noticed that the goalposts have moved?

Flamenco break
Bruce: Am I planning to increase the tax on figures of speech?
Well, let me say,
3. It's the size of the paddock. It's the levelness of brevity.
It's the slice of the walnut, and who are we to speak of sanity?
A stitch in time saves buying another one. All your promises are absurd.
All that glitters is an accident. Have you noticed that not everyone keeps their word?
Have you noticed that the playing field is not flat?
Have you noticed that the goalposts have shifted again?

Break: Bruce: “Oh, no they haven’t. . . Dear little goalposts!”
Voice (off): Look out!!
4. At the end of the day we'll know what our direction is.
Jobs will be jobs! There's a tax break in everything I need.
With the coolness of trite, the ripeness of the family,
I was feeling alright from the magnet of theosophy.
They're just figures of speech. Putting colour where description is.
You dress a carrot as a peach, but have you noticed what the bottom line is?
Have you noticed that not everyone keeps their word?
Have you noticed that the playing field is not flat?
Have you noticed that the goalposts have gone??
Frank: What...Gone?
Bruce: Yes Frank.
Frank: But they were there just a minute ago.
Bruce: I think someone's cut them off.
Frank: What’s that pile of woodchips over there?
Bruce: That’s just a diversion.
Frank: Stay calm. Let’s just close our eyes, jump ‘round to the right & see if we can find them . . . 1..2..
Bruce: Oh look Frank, where the goalposts were, someone’s run up an American flag.
Frank: Stop saluting, Bruce.
Bruce: We’ll probably get free hamburgers for the kids.
Frank: That’s got to be good for us!
Bruce: Yeah! It’ll be our salivation.
(footsteps commence. Fade from here)
Frank: So will the cheap drugs.
Bruce: Ooh. Drugs! Hey, can you claim on Medibank for lost goalposts?
Frank: Not on your Nellie mate, but you can be detained indefinitely for losing sight of them.
Bruce: Ooh! Then I’m going to look for them.
(several more footsteps to end fade)